bonsoir es que quelqun peut me controler mon anglais svp

Good morning ! Today I'm applying to be on the cast of 'Big Brother'
My name is "..."
I'm fourteen years old and I have 4 sisters and 1 bird, but I dream of getting a dog.
I was born on the 31/12/2003
I study "..." highschool but I live in "...".
I dream of becoming a lawyer.
I love cooking because for me it's relaxing but I love more playing and listening to music.
I don't like bad-mannered pupils.
I hate the stuborn pupils because I am also stuborn.
I would like to be on the cast of this TV-show because I think I'm sociable, very helpfull
and I love helping the old pupils especially those whom have difficulties. I'm someone reliable but I can be extremely obstinate.
I also want to participate because I would like to donate to childrens with the sum I will win.
I hope to get on the cast.